Jokes for Engineers

Quality Control

There were three people ready to be executed by guillotine back in medieval days. A farmer; a blacksmith; and, an engineer. For whatever reasons we don't know. The first was brought up to the platform and the henchman ask if he had any last words. The farmer said yes, that he would like to say a prayer. After kneeling down and praying, the henchman had him put his head through the opening in the guillotine and he pulled the chain. The blade came crashing down but stopped 2" from the man's neck. Everyone gasped and said for the henchman to let him go. This must be a sign from the gods.

कबुतर जा जा जा

कबुतर जा जा जा
कबुतर जा जा जा

7वे प्यार की 5वी चिठ्ठी चौथे को दे आ

कबुतर is confused where exactly to go.....

लखनऊ की अदब...

लखनऊ की अदब...

भिखारी : "जनाब, ख़ुदा आप को नेकी बक्शे... 
आप से एक ख़ुसूसी इल्तिजा बराहे-करम अर्ज़ है कि क्या जनाब-ऐ-आली, इस दरवेश को 10 रुपए की इनायत फ़रमा सकते हैं...?? ज़रा चाय पीने की ख़ाहिश थी..."

मिर्ज़ा साहब : "मियां... 
चाय तो 5 रुपए में आती है...??"

भिखारी : "लाहौल पढ़िए हुज़ूर... अकेले पियूंगा क्या...?? आप नोश नहीं फ़रमाएंगे...??"


Coming out of Retirement

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine.


Alright alright... I feel like I have some clearing up to do because quite a few people are getting really angry and emotional when I got the accents wrong. Hey I'm just imitating the accents I hear.. Most people who complain that the accents don't sound like that, then continue to call me really negative things need to CHILL OUT, because most likely it's people from SAID country who denies. FOR EXAMPLE: indians don't think the accent sounds like that, neither do italians, or even chinese and pinoys.

महागठबंधन के भविष्य पर कवियों ने बनाया मज़ाक

मैं भारत का नागरिक हूँ,
मुझे लड्डू दोनों हाथ चाहिये।
बिजली मैं बचाऊँगा नहीं,
बिल मुझे माफ़ चाहिये ।
पेड़ मैं लगाऊँगा नहीं,
मौसम मुझको साफ़ चाहिये।
शिकायत मैं करूँगा नहीं,
कार्रवाई तुरंत चाहिये ।
बिना लिए कुछ काम न करूँ,
पर भ्रष्टाचार का अंत चाहिये ।
घर-बाहर कूड़ा फेकूं,
शहर मुझे साफ चाहिये ।
काम करूँ न धेले भर का,
वेतन लल्लनटाॅप चाहिये ।
लाचारों वाले लाभ उठायें,
फिर भी ऊँची साख चाहिये।
लोन मिले बिल्कुल सस्ता,
बचत पर ब्याज बढ़ा चाहिये।
धर्म के नाम रेवडियां खाएँ,