Jokes for Engineers

Priest, a lawyer and an engineer

In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention -- so he's let go. The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime he is set free too. They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem......"

smallest possible amount of fence

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of fence. The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution." The physicist is next. She creates a circular fence of infinite radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the herd, declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence around the herd." The mathematician is last.

The graduate

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want mustard with that?"

पति- ये कैसी दाल बनाई है ?

पति- ये कैसी दाल बनाई है ? 
ना नमक है, ना मिर्च है, बिल्कुल फीकी है । 
तुम सारा दिन मोबाइल में लगी रहती हो, 
कुछ पता नही चलता क्या डालना है क्या नही?

पत्नी- (बेलन दिखाते हुए) 
पहले तुम मोबाइल साइड में रख कर खाना खाओ, 
कब से देख रही हूँ... पानी मे डुबो डुबो कर रोटी खा रहे हो ।

 

The Frog Princess

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

हैदराबादी कस्टमर :- मेरकू चेक डालना है कब तक क्लियर करते ?

हैदराबादी कस्टमर :- मेरकू चेक डालना है कब तक क्लियर करते ?

बैंकर :- 2 या 3 दिन में क्लियर हो जाता ।

हैदराबादी :- दोनो बैंक तो आमने - सामने ईच है फिर इत्ती देर काईकू ?

बैंकर :- सर, प्रोसेजर फ़ालो करना पड़ता, अगर अभी आप कब्रिस्तान के बाहर एक्सिडेंट में मर गये, तो आपकू पहले घर कू लेके जाते, गुसल देते, कफ़न पेनाते, जनाज़ै की नमाज पढते, या फिर मरते ईच सामने के कब्रिस्तान में दफन करते ?

हैदराबादी :- ए मै 3 दिन बाद आता ना, ऐसे खतरनाक एग्जापंला नक्को दे रे बावा, समझ गया मैं.. !!!

 

पेशेंट - बहूत नींद आती है डॉक्टर साहब, हर समय सोता रहता हूँ..

पेशेंट - बहूत नींद आती है डॉक्टर साहब, हर समय सोता रहता हूँ..

डाक्टर - कौनसा मोबाईल युज करते हो.??

पेशेंट - नोकीया 1100

डाॅक्टर - एक स्मार्ट फोन लिख के देता हूँ, *जीओ* सिम लेके फेसबुक , वाट्सप ईंस्टाल कर लेना, सब ठीक हो जायेगा..

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